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But don't read if you are a Hillary Clinton supporter.
The Meaning of Tragedy
Hillary Clinton visits a school classroom. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Mrs. Clinton if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious Senator asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Clinton, "That would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mrs. Clinton. "That's what we would call a 'great loss'."
The room goes silent. NO other children volunteered. Hillary searches the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a "tragedy"?"
Finally, at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice, he says: "If your campaign plane, carrying you, Mrs. Clinton, were struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a "tragedy"."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Hillary. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a "tragedy"?"
"Well," says little Johnny, "because it certainly wouldn't be a "great loss" and it probably wouldn't be an "accident" either.
And another one:
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Here is a true story:
Lena was hired at the factory and she reported for her 1st day promptly at 8:00 a.m. The following day, at 8:45, there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line threw open the door and began to rant about his new employee, Lena. He complained that she was incredibly slow and that the entire production line was behind schedule and backing up!
The personnel manager decided he should see this for himself, so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they got there, the line was so backed up, there were Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they were really beginning to pile up at the end of the line stood Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.
She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began carefully to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager stared for a few seconds, saw what was happening, and burst into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics, he pulled himself together and approached Lena. "I'm sorry," he said to her. Barely able to keep a straight face, he said, "I think you misunderstood the instructions given you yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles ..."
still another one:
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper from the back of the classroom: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, another student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Another student yelled, "You're INCREDIBLE!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost mob hysteria, the teacher said, "You little punk ... if you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh crap, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro and another student shouts "Duck"!
Teacher, just waking, asked "Who said that?"
Pedro answered: "Dick Cheney, 2006!"
OK, I got carried away but I'm in a good mood this morning.
ian
The Meaning of Tragedy
Hillary Clinton visits a school classroom. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Mrs. Clinton if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy."
So the illustrious Senator asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Clinton, "That would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Mrs. Clinton. "That's what we would call a 'great loss'."
The room goes silent. NO other children volunteered. Hillary searches the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a "tragedy"?"
Finally, at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice, he says: "If your campaign plane, carrying you, Mrs. Clinton, were struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a "tragedy"."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Hillary. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a "tragedy"?"
"Well," says little Johnny, "because it certainly wouldn't be a "great loss" and it probably wouldn't be an "accident" either.
And another one:
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. Here is a true story:
Lena was hired at the factory and she reported for her 1st day promptly at 8:00 a.m. The following day, at 8:45, there was a knock at the personnel manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line threw open the door and began to rant about his new employee, Lena. He complained that she was incredibly slow and that the entire production line was behind schedule and backing up!
The personnel manager decided he should see this for himself, so the two men marched down to the factory floor. When they got there, the line was so backed up, there were Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they were really beginning to pile up at the end of the line stood Lena, surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos.
She had a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watched in amazement as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around two marbles and began carefully to sew the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager stared for a few seconds, saw what was happening, and burst into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics, he pulled himself together and approached Lena. "I'm sorry," he said to her. Barely able to keep a straight face, he said, "I think you misunderstood the instructions given you yesterday. Your job is to give each Elmo two test tickles ..."
still another one:
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper from the back of the classroom: "Screw the Mexicans!"
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, another student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pedro answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Another student yelled, "You're INCREDIBLE!"
Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now, with almost mob hysteria, the teacher said, "You little punk ... if you say anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh crap, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro and another student shouts "Duck"!
Teacher, just waking, asked "Who said that?"
Pedro answered: "Dick Cheney, 2006!"
OK, I got carried away but I'm in a good mood this morning.
ian
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