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Firts time carry instructions--The Wally World Tactical Map

1576 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Kevin Jensen
I heard about this on another forum. Apparently there is a map that is supposed to go with the instructions, but I haven't been able to find it. I think it's kind of funny, but there are some good suggestions in there for a first-time CC outing. Anyway, here are the instructions:

First-Time Carry Trip to WalMart or Meijers

1) You must park your vehicle at least 50 yards from the entrance of a regular WallyWorld (75 yards for a SuperCenter.) As you head for the entrance, you must perform a scan of the area including checking under parked vehicles for BG’s (Bad Guys.) Remember, grandma in an electric wheelchair is not a drive-by threat.

2) You MUST drive the shopping cart. No substitutes are allowed. Negotiating aisles full of screaming kids dropping cans of Chef Boyardee while Mom is on the cell phone and trying the latest Rosie O’Donnell Makeup & Fragrances is a good test of patience and self-control.

3) No quickies! Your stay at WallyWorld must last no less than 45 minutes. You can hang out in automotive and even double check the Rapala lures to see what’s new to kill an allotted rest time of 10 minutes. The rest of the time you must be on the move. An exception is made if you are with your significant other and she goes for the White Sale madness. You must park, wait and be ready to back your mate if things get hairy with the pillow throws or allergenic bedspreads.

4) You are gonna buy stuff so pick items from the top and bottom shelves to test your cover garment. Your mate can assist you and point out any deficiencies. If you are alone and store security or the cops have not arrived by the time you check out, you passed this test. BUYING AMMO IS MANDATORY!

5) Check out: make sure you choose the busiest register. People will stand in close proximity and you must bear it with patience and avoiding contact. Beware of the people suddenly remembering a forgotten item and sending their mates to fetch it. They usually will brush against you on the way to get it.

6) Meal Time! If your WallyWorld serves Nachos, go ahead and get yourself a big serving of the suckers and wash it down with a Sam’s cola. If McD’s is the choice at the premises, get fries, onion rings, apple pie and a large Coke. ALL MEALS MUST BE CONSUMED ON SITE! No To-Go’s or you will be disqualified.

7) When you leave, repeat the scanning of the parking lot. Remember that now you are also dealing with a shopping cart that rattles like and old train and wants to go right all the time. Do not lose track of your surroundings because of this. If you have a car, open the trunk and introduce all your bags while facing outwards. Pick up Trucks: lower the tailgate and do the same. Keep scanning, you never know where the BG’s might be.

8) REMEMBER: Yellow lights = WallyWorld Security. Blue Lights = Cops.

9) You get brownie points if you attire consist of T-Shirt, Cover Garment, bermuda shorts, knee high white socks and sandals.

10) Restroom break (even if you don't have to go), go through the motions, figure out what you're going to do with your gun while sitting on the commode.
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ohthats funny, I think I'm going to wear the bermuda shorts, white knee high socks anyways.... Just to see the looks I get.
I have a wally world map for 1st time CC. I do not have access to any photosharing sites from my computer, so I will post it when I can. Until then I could email it to anyone who wants it, or could post it quicker than I could.
Strategic Tactical said:
ohthats funny, I think I'm going to wear the bermuda shorts, white knee high socks anyways.... Just to see the looks I get.
Last summer, I was wearing flip flops, a t-shirt and surfer shorts , the kind that tie like a shoe in the front. Well, I needed to go to the store for some BBQ supplies. So I slipped the Serpa over the shorts and made the open carry trip to Smiths. That was a funny looking combo! Even got some people to smirk. Wonder what they were thinking?
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