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1505 Views 4 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  blackpuma
Divorce is an evil which is pervading this country worse than the Black Death! The evils of divorce are wide and varying, affecting all segments of society. Divorce affects not only parents involved in the divorce, but children, the most innocent of all, and this affects them severely through the rest of their lives. Some are so traumatized that they revert to messing their pants, others are affected to such an extent that it disrupts there ability to concentrate at school, but for most of them their behavior modifies, and not in a good way.

Most children of divorce begin showing many different signs of depression which continues through their teens and follows them into their lives as adults. Many become career criminals, most have some trouble with the law, most end up getting divorced themselves. Much of this is due to the example the received from their parents, and not being able to recognize the same behaviors in themselves.

Often in divorce children pit parent against parent in trying to vie for attention, or things which in essence only replace the love they are being denied. More frequently parents use the children against each other with no thought for the evil they do their children. This manifests in their behavior both in court, and at home. Those who mentally abuse their children by denigrating their former spouse out of spite damage their children beyond belief! This is totally unacceptable! This is a disservice to them and to society at large. The cost to them and society are a terrible tragedy.

Divorce is a terrible evil and is a huge cancer to society! If it is something that becomes a necessity (which in reality is extremely rare!) then do your children the favor of at least being cordial to one another--for the children's sake!

Remember that the courts and your lawyers don't really give a [edited by moderator]. They are there to make money off of you in whatever way they can!

If divorce becomes a necessity and both parties are unwilling to live by the vows they made at their wedding the only way to properly adjudicate custody is as follows--the way the courts and lawyers want to do it--be [edited by moderator]!:

Parent 1 gets all children for the first year, pays for everything themselves including, food, housing, insurance, clothing, school supplies etc. At the end of the year they get the benefit of using the children when they prepare their taxes. They also have the children for all holidays during that year, period. If a holiday falls on parent 2's weekend, fine, otherwise parent 1 has all holidays and birthdays as described above. This in no way means that parent 2 cannot attend any functions involving the children during the year, in fact it is encouraged. Parent 1 must notify parent 2 of such activities or events so they may attend for the children's benefit. There will be no alimony or child support, period!

Parent 2 has visitation every other weekend all year long and cannot be denied this right or parent one goes to jail and parent two then gets the children.

Year 2 this reverses and the children are in the custody of parent 2, that parent gets all the positive and negative responsibilities which parent 1 got the first year.

Parent 1 has visitation during year two as described above.

This reverses every year until the children are 18.

Neither divorced parent may move or accept a job which is over 50 miles from the other & the children must attend a school equidistant to both parents (50/50 distance between their separate homes).

Property should be equally divided between both parties except for items from their respective families which have sentimental value, such as items from a parent or grandparent or sibling.

The divorce should be filled out and signed by both parties only to be signed by a judge for final disposition of the mutually acceptable decree. (limited government interference)

Do this and this cancer will decrease and society will benefit tremendously!
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I agree with the sentiments, but I'd like to throw out one thing… forcing the kids to move every year like that is really hard on the kids. Moving them around tries to make things "fair" to the adults, but doesn't take the kids into account. Either way it's a darned shame.

The kids just want a stable, happy home. If the adults are intent on denying them this, the adults need to bear the burden as much as possible. Unfortunately the kids are the real losers any way you cut the cake.

Anyhow, I'm sympathetic to the sentiments you expressed. Don't rush into marriage. Keep the fire stoked… especially when you don't feel like it.

17 years and going strong.
12+ here!

Yeah, keep those homefires burning bright.

What do I mean?
1. Weekly dates.
2. Nothing. No person, no job, no hobby takes precendence over the relationship with your wife.
3. Be the first to say 'sorry'. Even if you think it's not your fault.
It isn't exactly forcing the children to move each year, as it is more about making sure both parents are 100% responsible and must do so on an equal level. This would be why I stated no move over 50 miles and that the school remain equidistant or 1/2 way between both homes.
The children would continue in the same school regardless of whom has the responsible care for them on any given year, thus friends, school, and the associated learning ability for that school for the children always remains on an equal footing.
This is the only way I can see a True Joint Custody arrangement to be. The trumped up & asinine method used in Utah is a HUGE FARCE, and hurts more than it will ever help any relationship between parents & children.
To those who are 12+ years in their marriage, who continue to date & treat their spouse as the most important thing/relationship in their life--I say Fantastic! Congratulations & keep the romance going! You are truly blessed & will be so long as you continue in your course.
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Don't get antsy… I agree it's a horrific mess that shouldn't be in the first place, and I applaud you putting some brainpower into trying to come up with a better solution.

Don't jump to the false conclusion that because I'm trying to see strengths and weaknesses in your ideas that I'm against the idea of improving the status quo.

Cinhil said:
It isn't exactly forcing the children to move each year,
It's not about where they go to school. That's a narrow vision of what kids go through having to pick up and move all their stuff, say good-bye to their neighbourhood, different parent, different rules, different everything.

It sucks horribly for the kids in the first place, but this ensures that no child will ever have as stable a home environment as possible. It ensures that they'll be perpetual visitors to be shuffled around at the direction of adults with guns (courts, police) pretending that they're making the parent-type adults act responsibly.

… it is more about making sure both parents are 100% responsible …
Not possible. One person cannot do this to another, let alone the state. I'm not sure that hading the state more power in an attempt to coerce irresponsible adults is the right angle of attack.

True Joint Custody arrangement
If we're talking coersion, how about coercing the parents to live in the separate halves of a duplex? Why no more than 50 miles? Why not no more than 50 feet?

…method used n Utah…
Yep. I agree. It's not materially better elsewhere.
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