Looks very good as a draft. Good job!
It does need a bit of proof-reading and editing. Please know that I'm not trying to be critical. You've put together an excellent pamphlet. I know that I like to ask somebody else besides me to proofread a document that I've written, because the author often doesn't see the errors. An independent proofreader can be very valuable. With that in mind, I have some corrections to suggest:
There is no word "prooperty" in Article I, Section 6 of the Utah Constitution. This is what it really says:
The individual right of the people to keep and bear arms for security and defense of self, family, others, property, or the state, as well as for other lawful purposes shall not be infringed; but nothing herein shall prevent the Legislature from defining the lawful use of arms.
shows up twice in the document.
I would take minor issue with the wording in the 2nd page, first paragraph.
I would say keep
and bear arms, instead of just bear arms. They mean two quite different things and both are mentioned in both constitutions. The title "Creator
" should be capitalized out of respect (as is customary). Both the U.S. and Utah constitutions protect the right to keep and bear arms, but I wouldn't say that the Federal or State Governments
do so. They (especially Federal) are often working hard to infringe those rights, so I would suggest a bit of rewording in this paragraph.
Second page, middle column, second paragraph should say, "Be sure to read
the rest of section 402 in order to better understand justification of force."
First page, first column, fifth paragraph should probably be modified to read, "Anybody over the age of 18, with a clean criminal record, can own a firearm. You have to be over 21 to purchase a handgun from a licensed dealer, but only 18 to own (and carry unloaded
) a handgun."
First page, middle column, third paragraph, should say "buses", not "busses". Might want to spell check the whole document.
First page, middle column, fourth paragraph: The prohibition from carrying in an airport only applies to the sterile area, i.e past the security checkpoints. Just some clarification.
As I said before, good job! I added one of your links to my Handy Links